Into the Twilight

For the last couple weeks my dreams have been causing me to wake up feeling lonely and angry. Depressing huh? IT would not b as bad if I could remember any of them. The way I deal with dreams is to write them in a dream journal I have and analyze them. Last night I had a dream I can remember and something is telling me to write a blog about it. Maybe it is my way of asking for help I don’t know. The way I am going to do this is write it and analyze it so hopefully you guys can give me your own opinions.

 The dream is pretty short but it is about a relationship between me and a friend. This friend I know is not gay, but we had sort of a semi relationship. WE spent a lot of time together and it was an amazing feeling. We hugged and kissed like a normal couple. Nothing sexual happened between us. Everything was fine and dandy. Then I was walking to his house when a friend of ours stopped me and told me they had finally got his glasses and now it is over. I didn’t quite know what that meant but then I rushed to his house to see him. He was furious as though I had been lying to him the whole time that we were in a relationship. I am not sure what I would have been lying about whether it was because I was not a girl or something else. He did not talk to me for the better part of a month and then we started talking to me about being friend and even closer being as brothers.

 First of all I am not going to say who it is. This would probably create some tension between us and as we all know it is never the person who u dream about but who the represent.

   Represent. I think he represented what I wanted to be in life. I think it is my ultimate goal that I am trying to achieve. Becoming Hot and skinny

 Now the glasses part is something I have thought about for the better part of waking up till I got to work. The person I dreamt about did not even wear glasses. So I wondered if the glasses represented my thoughts on myself. I still have self esteem issues. This is something I have been dealing with. So the friend I ran into was my effort to say I am not good enough for this person.

 Now my idea in the dream bout him being angry that I am not a girl could be he was angry I was not a girl or him angry because I am not pretty enough. I think this could represent that I am Homosexual. I don’t think this is the case because I believe I am bisexual and this is because I want relationships with women.

 This last part kind of stumps me I thought about it for a while. Being friends or even closer brothers. This could be that I have always said that you need to build a solid friendship before you can get into a relationship. Sometimes this does not work, when you do build a friendship you kind of get the whole I cant see you as anything else speel. When I tried asking someone out before there was any friendship there it just never worked out.